“Crocs” have crossed the line

Just in case you’re not familiar with “Crocs”, here’s a link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crocs

Crocs are plastic clogs, and they’re basically a fucking disaster.  There’s nothing that says “modern excess” more than Crocs except maybe American cheese.  Injection-moulding at its finest, wearing Crocs is tantamount to walking around in a pair of office crates.

As if Crocs themselves weren’t bad enough, there are a variety of various Croc-related products.  There are charms to hang in the holes of your Crocs (although now that I think about it, it makes sense that Croc-wearers would exhibit the drive to plug-every-hole).  There is even “Croc butter” so that you can make them look like a piece of polished Play-Do again, in case you enjoy the classiness of factory-fresh plastic.

When the light hit my Crocs they twankle and glisten.

When the light hit my Crocs they twankle and glisten.

If you were under the impression that this stupid shit had already reached some sort of limit, just observe the following:

Nearly unbelievable.

Completely fucking unbelievable.

Sweet holy fuck.  If I had the money, I’d contract Blackwater to burn this company to the ground.  I normally don’t give a shit what other people choose to wear, but I’d cold-cock anybody I caught wearing these abominations.  If anything screams “crime against nature,” it’s these pieces of shit.

Holy fucking hell.

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3 Responses to “Crocs” have crossed the line

  1. Mike says:

    Seriously, fuck these things. I’m so upset I almost want to write a Part 2.

  2. Eric says:

    Good one. I see dumb college sheeple walking around UMD with these things all the time.

  3. Mike says:

    It has recently been brought to my attention by one of Moral Hazard’s readers that this topic has already been covered by Maddox. I was previously unaware of this fact.

    I was also unaware that our readership intersected the set of middle school students, but you learn something new every day.

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