I know absolutely nothing about fashion. You know how, in the olden days, everyone but the very rich had only an outfit or two? That’s pretty much my style. I wear the same cheap, tired-ass clothes day in and day out until they fall apart. As far as I’m concerned, there are better things to spend money on than replacing perfectly functional clothing.
I’m usually not even aware of fashion trends, and when I am I don’t care enough to comment on them. But there is a current fad that is so obnoxious that it makes my blood boil every time I see it:
Jesus tap-dancing Christ. Where to begin? First of all, what’s with the flat brim? Don’t people know that you’re supposed to bend the brim of a cap so it conforms to your head instead of perching precariously atop it? Second, you forgot to remove the stickers, asshole. Oooh, I’m so impressed that your hat is “authentic!” I hope you choke. The combined effect of these two blunders is to make the wearer look like a little kid who just got a cap for his birthday and has no idea what to do with it.
And why the white-on-white color scheme? You can barely make out the logo. And if it’s not white-on-white or black-on-black, it’s some other hideous scheme that has absolutely nothing to do with the team colors. The other day I saw some dipshit wearing a red camouflage Dodgers cap. I don’t think someone with such poor judgment should reproduce, so I ripped his balls off and fed them to my dog.
How does dressing like a retarded five-year-old become popular? My theory is that a bunch of executives at MTV or BET were betting one another how ridiculously they could get people to dress. Next you’ll see 50 Cent wearing his underwear outside of his pants in a music video and people following suit the next day.