This year on Halloween, I dressed up as Jesus. Here’s photo evidence, taken with Dan’s interrogation lamp:
So anyway, I was walking around at a party, and this crowd of people called “Jesus! Come teach us!”
I walked to them, raised my arms into the air, and proclaimed:
Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid.
Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
A few people started laughing, and quite a few were dumbfounded. One girl looked at me and said “Wow, is that like… something that Confucius said?” to which I replied “IT’S THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT YOU FUCKING IDIOT.” Everybody had a good chuckle at the girl’s expense.
I seriously felt like turning the table in front of her over and chasing her out of the house with a walking stick. You might feel like I’m a prick for chastising her, but think about the chain of reasoning she had to have gone through.
Not recognizing the sermon on the mount is one thing, but not recognizing the words as Jesus’ words given ample contextual clues (like the guy delivering the words being dressed like JESUS CHRIST for example) is another. Besides, when does Confucius talk about glorifying God in Heaven?
Inebriation is no excuse either, seeing as how I was out of my mind when delivering the sermon. The ignorance of some people is simply fucking astounding. To make matters worse, I bet this chick is going to go vote on November 4th. Bravo, Democracy.