Party of Lincoln My Ass

One of the most common and successful strategies from the Republican playbook is accusing educated, urbane liberals of elitism.  The funny thing is, they’re absolutely right; we do think we’re better than they, and with good reason.  Just look at any recent electoral map: the states where all the smart people live are blue, and the states where all the stupid people live are red.  I’m not just talking shit; there have been many studies indicating that red states tend to have lower levels of education and IQ and higher levels of social ills such as teen pregnancy, alcoholism, illiteracy, etc.  This trend is self-perpetuating, as smart people from these backwaters often get the fuck out of Dodge as soon as possible.

Perversely, Republicans have profited from this fact.   Election analysts may as well say, “in order to succeed this year, the Republicans really need to mobilize the retard vote.”  They’ve done this exceedingly well recently, convincing poor white chucklefucks to vote against their own interests in droves.  The twisted union that Republicans have forged between the top 1% of the economic pyramid and the bottom 25%  boggles the mind.

When and how did the Republican party become the party of idiots?  Conservatism is a perfectly coherent political philosophy with many practical successes under its belt.  True conservatism, however, is no longer what the Republican party preaches.  Rather, the party has recently made its living by cultivating a particularly virulent strain of anti-intellectualism.  The “Party of Lincoln” has become the party of bigots, ignorami, Christian fundamentalists, chicken hawks, fear mongerers, and fascists.  Of course, not all Republicans fall into these categories; there are plenty of intelligent and educated ones.  They should be ashamed, and now regretful, that they allowed their party to be hijacked by the basest subset of its constituency.


14 Responses to Party of Lincoln My Ass

  1. Yeah, that’s why folks in Pennsylvania re-elected a guy who basically called all U.S. soldiers butchers and his own constituents “rednecks” and “racists”. You Northerners are just too smart for us Southerners.

  2. Mike says:

    To be fair, his constituents ARE rednecks and racists.

  3. Mike says:

    By the way just look at you, man. Is that a mullet in your photo?

  4. And yet they live in a blue state? Seems to go oddly against your theory.

    Nope, no mullet. It’s a snake I went out and wrassled in the back yard after I ate some dirt and brushed muh one good tooth. What about you? You look like Son of Sam or the Zodiac Killer in your little pic.

    Anyhow, I’m from a red state. I’m from the South. I’m a Reagan Conservatie. I’m educated. I’ll break out the Trivial Pursuit without fear any time any place against anyone.

  5. Dan says:

    This post is not a dig at conservatives or conservatism; see the second sentence of the last paragraph. Nor do I claim that all Republicans or all Southerners are stupid and uneducated; there’s just a high correlation.

  6. Patricia says:

    So if you look at the section of the chart that’s stripey, with red and blue states mingling, all of those red states went blue in this election. Florida and North Carolina will become blue stripes in the red section, but as for the upper portion of the chart, it has become a solid block. Nearly complete division between democratic and republican states. Coincidence?

  7. Eric says:

    This was a good post. In response to g.peaceburton: I have always maintained that radical leftists are just as obnoxious as radical conservatives. Radical leftists are the kind of people who elect a man who accuses all US troops of being murderers (although, to be fair, there are plenty of murderers, rapists, and other criminals in the US Military. This can partly be attributed to the fact that in their drive to maintain troop strength, military officials are allowing career criminals, including felons, to enlist). Morons on the Radical Left like Cynthia McKinney annoy me almost as much as idiots like John Ashcroft. Also, I love the hair.

  8. Eric says:

    The last sentence of the first paragraph was great.

  9. Larry says:

    If you follow the logic implied by the first chart then North Dakota must be the smartest state in the US (lowest percentage of high school graduates). Although having graduated from one of the white (both on the map and in real life) sections of Wisconsin I can honestly say that most of those people were given HS diplomas just to make that statistic.

    Getting a degree without passing algebra and by taking 4 years of “agricultural sciences” course is not really getting a degree; now is it?

    P.S. Dan it is so good to see that you yourself are not a bigot.

  10. Eric says:

    Larry: Don’t bash diploma factories! I attend one (University of Maryland College Park, the ‘flagship’ school)! Take a look at this joke of a course I am taking in the Spring:
    Last Winter, I took a course called ‘Conflict Resolution For College Students,’ a class in which we discussed non-confrontational methods for solving conflict. Dan skimmed the course book and was shocked that the class was being offered at UMCP.
    My first semester at UMD, I took a course called ‘Career Development,’ a class in which we sat in a circle every day and discussed our plans for the future. Our big project was to create a poster representing the potential careers we may want in the future.
    I know it is a total joke, and I am not defending any of these courses as being real college courses, but I will certainly take the easy credits.

  11. Dan says:

    “P.S. Dan it is so good to see that you yourself are not a bigot.”


  12. Dan says:

    Are you retarded, “Lawl?” Your handle and comment seem to indicate that you are. Nonetheless, despite your mental handicap, you have managed to point out my failure to check sources. We here at Moral Hazard aspire to the very highest levels of journalistic integrity, so I apologize to our readers for this lapse. My point still stands, though: Southerners are stupid.

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