1) “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” Huh? Given that “changing” means “not staying the same” and vice versa, I’d expect an inverse correlation.
2) “The exception that proves the rule.” This must be how they do confirmation theory in the Bizarro World. “Here’s a piece of evidence that contradicts my theory, so my theory must be correct!”
3) “A stitch in time saves nine.” What the hell is this supposed to mean? If you ever hear someone use this phrase you should give him all your change and back away slowly, as this person is clearly a raving street lunatic.
4) “Have one’s cake and eat it too.” I think this is meant to suggest that one is asking too much, but it seems like a perfectly reasonable request to me. What is one supposed to do with cake besides eat it?
5) “There but for the grace of God go I.” Come again? I can’t even begin to parse this syntactical nightmare. It sounds like Yoda on crack.