Five English Phrases that Make No Sense

1) “The more things change, the more they stay the same.”  Huh?  Given that “changing” means “not staying the same” and vice versa, I’d expect an inverse correlation.

2) “The exception that proves the rule.”  This must be how they do confirmation theory in the Bizarro World.  “Here’s a piece of evidence that contradicts my theory, so my theory must be correct!”

3) “A stitch in time saves nine.”  What the hell is this supposed to mean?  If you ever hear someone use this phrase you should give him all your change and back away slowly, as this person is clearly a raving street lunatic.

4) “Have one’s cake and eat it too.”  I think this is meant to suggest that one is asking too much, but it seems like a perfectly reasonable request to me.  What is one supposed to do with cake besides eat it?

5) “There but for the grace of God go I.”  Come again?  I can’t even begin to parse this syntactical nightmare.  It sounds like Yoda on crack.

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5 Responses to Five English Phrases that Make No Sense

  1. Mike says:

    “Head over heels.”

    Given that my head is over my heels the vast majority of the time, how is this not just saying “me at any given point in time”?

  2. Rachael says:

    I believe that what “a stitch in time saves nine” is supposed to refer to is that if you are sewing and take your time everything will come out right. If you rush and fuck up, you’re going to have to undo it all and start over. So for each stitch made in haste you’re going to have to redo 9 of them. Not worded the best though. Maybe it made more sense in olden days.

    I always took “to have ones cake and eat it to” to mean that you want to eat your cake, but you still want to have cake left. Once you eat your cake it’s gone. There is no more cake. You just want this endless supply of cake so that you are never without it.

  3. Larry says:

    “Have one’s cake and eat it too” means that you would get to eat the cake, but still have the cake leftover to eat (presumably later). Essentially you would get the benefit from something now without the cost of replacing it.

  4. Risa says:

    yeah the stitch thing means if you fix something early on (like a small crack in a windshield) then it prevents having to make bigger repairs later. but i never got that exception one either.

    this blog has some great stuff, mike. there’s nothing like some well-articulated bitching and moaning to make you laugh and take the stupid things about life a little less seriously. 🙂

  5. Nick says:

    Yeah, nice blog, Mike. Who the fuck is this Dan alter-ego, though? That guy’s a total prick. I think he’s the exception that proves the rule: stitch your mom’s vagina in time and save nine months of gestating a future douchebag.

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