I love to play basketball despite my utter lack of physical gifts for the sport: I’m a short, slow white guy with a laughable vertical leap. Given my limitations, however, I’ve managed to mold myself into a pretty decent player through hard work, hustle, and a willingness to flagrantly hack quicker players as they blow by me.
Still, It frustrates me that no matter how much I practice, the degree to which I can improve is severely constrained. I’m particularly envious of those who can dunk; from above the rim, they have access to a perspective of the game that I never will. I used to play ball with a guy who was a full inch shorter than I and could throw it down. My legs are probably twice as strong as his; why can’t I even touch the rim? I know it has to do with slow and fast twitch muscle fibers, but it’s just not fair.
God, if you exist, I have but one simple and reasonable request: just once, when I’m going up for a layup, suspend the laws of physics for an instant such that I find myself above the rim.
Fuck it, who am I kidding? Even if this wish were somehow granted, I’d probably be so surprised that I’d miss the dunk, fall and bust my ass.