There’s a Panera down the street from my house that’s served as my study spot this semester. It has good lighting, power outlets, and free refills of decent coffee. Next week is finals week, so I figured to spend plenty of time there this week preparing. During my visit today, however, I discovered that I would have to go elsewhere. Why?
Christmas music. It’s not even December, and they’re already playing Christmas music. In the name of all things sacred, why must we be subjected to this sonic diarrhea? Who wants to hear it? Not the poor bastards who work there, that’s for sure. I’m generally a peaceful guy, but if I worked at Panera and had to hear “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” on a continuous loop for eight hours each day I’d go Seung-Hui Cho on motherfuckers then burn that son of a bitch to the ground.
What about the customers? There might be a few who enjoy it, but they must be a tiny minority; everyone I know can’t stand it. Nevertheless, the douchebags at corporate somehow decide that this is what everyone wants to hear. What cruel irony.
On a related note, whenever I hear the line “don we now our gay apparel,” I always picture the classic 1950’s nuclear family in front of the fireplace, smiling as they put on their assless chaps and nipple clamps. Just thought you might like to know.