1. The Doors.
Any “overrated” list must start with The Doors, the ultimate example of a no-talent band that made it big because they were in the right place at the right time. Sure, they were influential, but listening to their repetitive, dissonant, atonal music is worse than getting a root canal from Dr. Mengele. I defy you to listen to the following song all the way through without stabbing yourself in the brain with a pencil:
One of the reasons The Doors are so overrated is that Jim Morrison is often described as a great poet, and not just by that chunky melancholic girl we all knew in high school. These people must be higher than Jim Morrison himself; I could eat a copy of King Lear and shit better poetry than that hack’s. “Come on baby light my fire/Come on baby light my fire/Try to set the night on fire.” Brilliant. Nice touch, rhyming “fire” with “fire.” Pure genius.
2. Allen Iverson.
When people who are knowledgeable about sports hear the word “overrated,” the first player that usually springs to mind is Derek Jeter. Sure, Jeter’s overrated, but at least he’s a good player; excellent, in fact. The same is true of Kobe Bryant. What sets Allen Iverson apart is that throughout his career he’s been slightly above average at best and considerably below average at worst. People overrate him because of his high scoring totals, which are merely a function of how many shots he takes each game. The dude’s career field goal percentage is .425 overall and .314 for three-pointers. To put that in perspective, Steve Nash, a good player, shoots .486/.432. That’s a huge difference. Furthermore, AI contributes little beyond scoring; he dishes out some assists, but he’s a zero on the boards and turns the ball over constantly. Iverson won the MVP in 2001; according to the sophisticated evaluation system presented by Berri, Schmidt and Brook in The Wages of Wins, Iverson was the 160th best player in the NBA that year. According to the same system, Iverson was only once the best player on his team (in 1997). As much as I’d like to root for a guy who at 6’0 is a midget in the NBA, Allen Iverson just plain sucks.
3. Star Wars.
I know I’m going to make a lot of nerds angry with this one, but it has to be said: the Star Wars movies just aren’t all that. I’m not saying they’re bad; they’re reasonably entertaining. I just can’t figure out why every guy who wouldn’t know breasts from a football because he never touched either has such a raging boner for them. The special effects, while great for their time, are pathetic by today’s standards. The plot is nothing special, and the villain sounds like he’s on a respirator. Are the light sabers really that exciting? I guess they are to some…
“Diversity.” The very word reeks of bullshit. Why do people nowadays think that diversity is desirable in and of itself? Multiculturalism has promoted the idea that if we surround ourselves with people of different races, we’ll be exposed to so many new perspectives that we’ll all be more productive, expand our horizons and sing songs under a rainbow.
Has anyone ever actually experienced this? I doubt it. Besides, why should we assume that people with different skin colors must think differently?
Humans are clannish and xenophobic by nature; it’s only relatively recently that people of different backgrounds have come to live among one another. This is part of the reason why racism has persisted throughout history and remains ubiquitous throughout the world. As modern, enlightened humans, we should learn to respect and tolerate our differences (or, better yet, ignore them). But celebrate them? What a crock of shit.
5. Los Angeles.
Anyone who’s ever been to L.A. knows that it sucks ass through a straw; those who haven’t, however, tend to consider it a glamorous and sexy place. If you’re one of those people, allow me to disabuse you of that notion right now. Have you ever seen the movie Mad Max? L.A. is like that, except worse, since Mel Gibson actually lives there.
By far the worst thing about L.A. is its infrastructure, or lack thereof. Because the city experienced most of its growth during the automobile age, it’s more a sprawling conglomeration of suburbs than a true city. Because of this, L.A. is basically one giant traffic jam, and there’s no way to avoid it since driving is the only way to get anywhere.
And where is there to go? Aside from the beaches, which are always crowded with assholes, there’s nothing but strip malls. I guess if you’re up for a thrill you can take a ride through some of America’s worst ghettos. The climate is pleasant year-round, but that’s outweighed out by the constant smog and droughts. Finally, L.A. is full of phonies who think they’re going to make it in Hollywood, but usually wind up bussing tables or doing gangbangs for blow.
Most of California is wonderful, especially the Bay Area, but L.A. is a complete wasteland. Avoid it at all costs.