Big League Chew

Have you ever thought about what a strange product chewing gum is?  Imagine trying to explain it to someone from a few hundred years ago: “it’s this stuff  you chew that tastes good, but isn’t food.”  He would look at you like you just shat out the Pope.  I can understand the appeal of gum chewing: it’s tasty, it satisfies the oral fixation, it makes your breath minty, and so on.  If chewed occasionally and discretely, it’s a fairly benign habit, but this is not how most gum-chewers chew gum.  Instead, they make constant smacking noises, their mouths perpetually agape and their jaws gyrating like a camel chewing its cud.  What could be more vulgar?

muhammad-camel

Speaking of gum, does anyone remember Big League Chew?  Apparently it still exists, though I suspect it had its heyday back in the 1980s, when I played little league baseball.  What a great concept: foil packages filled with shredded gum that resembles chewing tobacco, clearly marketed to kids.

k1371

From the makers of Crack Rock Candy.

The stuff was (and presumably still is) delicious; the flavor only lasted about ten seconds, but those were the best ten seconds of my eight-year-old life.  Once those ten seconds were up and the gum had acquired the flavor of silly putty, I’d stuff more into my mouth.  After about three minutes, the package would be empty and I’d have a flavorless wad in my mouth the size of my fist.  Ah, the pleasures of youth.

Advertisements

4 Responses to Big League Chew

  1. FunnyPolice says:

    No very funny.

  2. Dan says:

    Blow me.

  3. ray says:

    a friend of mine told me about a funny ‘chocolate bar picture’ i should look at on this site, but i don’t see it. where is this chocolate bar picture?

  4. Nick says:

    “After about three minutes, the package would be empty and I’d have a flavorless wad in my mouth the size of my fist.”

    That explains everything!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: