For the past few months, all the major “news” outlets have been abuzz with the following “scandal”: Tiger Woods, the greatest golfer of all time, the wealthiest athlete in history, a charismatic young billionaire who also happens to be strikingly handsome, likes to fuck women who aren’t his wife.
I’ll pause for a moment to allow that stunning revelation to sink in.
Seriously, though: why is this news? Of course Tiger Woods lays pipe; that’s the whole point of being a rich superstar athlete. Do people really expect this Nietzschean Übermensch to jack off to softcore porn in his hotel room like the rest of us when there are beautiful women queuing up to satisfy his every sexual fantasy? Come off it.
More importantly, why do we even know about this? How is Tiger’s sex life anyone’s business? This is the stuff of trashy tabloids, and yet it’s the top story on CNN, MSNBC, the New York Times, and other so-called “legitimate” news outlets. I suppose I can’t place all the blame on the media, since they only report what will bring in ratings. We’re a nation of prudish busybodies that cares more about what a golfer does with his cock than about issues of genuine importance; how pathetic is that?