FOOTBALL!!!

I’m convinced that football announcers are engaged in some sort of competition for who can say the word “football” the most. Rarely will they just say “ball,” “team,” or “game”; instead, it’s always “football,” “football team,” or “football game,” as in “this football team needs to take better care of the football better if they’re going to win this football game.” Do we really need constant reminders of what sport we’re watching? Is there really some confused soul out there who would otherwise think he’s watching bobsledding?

Speaking of football, last night I watched the injury-plagued Pittsburgh Steelers lose painfully to the Denver Broncos, thanks in part to a good performance by the Broncos’ below-average-yet-inexplicably-popular quarterback, Tim Tebow. Tebow is known for his open displays of his Christian faith, such as kneeling in prayer during games and crediting the lord for his performances. Many have mocked him for this, but I have not yet taken the opportunity to do so publicly. I’d just like to make two points:

1) Tebow, who is 24 years old, has a conception of religion more simplistic and juvenile than that of an average six-year-old . Apparently he thinks of God as a personal fairy godmother who can’t be bothered to stop famine or earthquakes, but will gladly make an opponent miss a field goal if his pal Timmy asks him nicely.

2) He’s a virgin. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

What a Christ-humping douche.

Advertisements

2 Responses to FOOTBALL!!!

  1. Eric says:

    “He’s a virgin. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.”

    Haha good post.

  2. This is some seriously funny shit while making points most people can’t understand. Please please please post more rants! Jesus fuck man why can’t all people be more like this? All we have are idiots methheads and a president who probably spends more time watching porn or jerking off to children than trying to fix our nation. Or more time doing that than anything really.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: