Crappuccino

As one may gather from my previous posts, I’m something of a coffee snob: I drink plenty, have very high standards, and am fairly knowledgeable about it.  Until yesterday, however, when my friend Einam pointed it out, my knowledge did not extend to the existence of something called Kopi Luwak.  He saw it mentioned in the movie The Bucket List; I’ll take his word for it, since I’d rather take a battery acid enema than watch Jack Nicholson overact and Morgan Freeman play the wise, world-weary old black guy AGAIN. Morgan, how about expanding your range and playing a wise, world-weary old white guy?  Now that I’d watch.

But I digress.  Kopi Luwak, for those of you too lazy to click the link, is coffee made from coffee berries that have been eaten and egested by the Asian Palm Civet, which is basically a house cat on meth:

Never feed it after midnight.

Kopi Luwak is the most expensive coffee in the world, costing up to $600/pound.  I find it odd that people are willing to pay that much money to drink coffee made from cat turds, but I’m willing to acknowledge the possibility that it really does taste fantastic.  What really blows my mind is thinking about how this stuff was initially discovered.  At some point an Indonesian must have come across a pile of shit and thought, “I should sift through this to see if there’s anything inside I can turn into a beverage.”

I can’t get over this.

What’s the excuse?

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/10/29/japan.station.cat/index.html

Cliff’s Notes version: In a small town in Japan, they took a cat that hung out at the station too much and put a hat on her.  They named her the “super station mananger,” and now she’s such a strong tourism pull from within the country that they net $10 million.

Now I understand that this is the country that invented tentacle rape cartoon porn, sells dirty panties in vending machines, and also managed to be big enough douchebags to be the only country nuked ever, but is there a possible explanation for this shit?  People actually travel from across the country to look at a cat with a hat on it.  

I’m trying to think of something funny to say about this but I’m at a complete fucking loss.

Doesn't make a damn bit of sense.

Japan, I’m looking at you.  You need fewer company workers and more psychiatrists if this is the sort of shit that passes for normal behavior.